Shelly R. Wilson

I Give Up

I Give UpWhat am I giving up?

I give up trying to control things that I cannot control.
I give up trying to make other people happy.
I give up trying to shift people’s perception so that they can see things through my eyes.

Recent experiences have provided me once again with a huge lesson and tests from the “Spiritual Broadcasting System.” Categorical-wise, I would assess that I have a Type-A personality in regards to the perfectionism and impatience although I do keep my frustration in check. I decided I better do some research before giving myself the label altogether. Through my search on the internet, I discovered several websites noting the four traits indicative of a Type-A Personality. These traits are free floating hostility, aggressiveness, time urgency, and competitiveness. Wow, these traits sound a bit “strong!” I’m putting on my “big girl” pants and going to take a good hard look at myself. While some individuals may view these traits as faults, I choose to view them from a Higher/soul perspective. My soul obviously chose them for a reason for this lifetime. Rather than viewing them as a “negative,” I choose to honor them.

Addressing each trait individually, I recognize how far I’ve come through my own self-work and journey into consciousness. I have acquired a lot of patience for individuals and do recognize the need to honor everyone where they are at on their life journey. I’ve learned to relax and go with the flow, which wasn’t always the case. I don’t let things/people affect me like they once did, yet I do get frustrated. I don’t believe this frustration would be described as free floating hostility. I tend to keep my mouth shut in most instances. When I do finally speak up and really open that throat chakra, I wished I would have done so sooner.

I don’t care for the connotation of “aggressive,” but do acknowledge that I am (and that’s probably why I don’t like the connotation of the word). I am probably more passive-aggressive rather than outright aggressive. I do like to take charge. I am highly goal/task oriented, and I do tend to do what it takes to get the job done. I would rather do something by myself and get it done because I know it will get done. I’ve always been that way. It’s probably why I haven’t hired someone to assist me.

Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking into the future. Those song lyrics came into my awareness as I am beginning to write about the linear aspect of time. I don’t like to wait in lines so I make it a point to avoid busy times. Time is valuable and most people recognize the value of their own time, but not other people’s time. When communicating via email or phone and I haven’t received a reply/return call, I will wait a few days (sometimes weeks) and then follow up. I respond to all communication in a very timely manner and appreciate when others do so as well.

Finally, the last trait is competitiveness. Rather than competing with others, I focus on my own goals and achievements. I am extremely mindful of not comparing my journey with others. I stressed myself out in school to attain the perfect 4.0 GPA. The perfectionism attribute was “passed down” to me, and I’ve passed it down to my own children.

I have to say that I do see what would be perceived as “the good, the bad and the ugly” in regards to these personality traits, and that’s why I give up.

I give up trying to control things that I cannot control.
In the big scheme of things, there are five things each one of us can control. I have control of my thoughts, words, actions, emotions and reactions. Everything else is beyond my control. I can choose how I wish to react, and sometimes the appropriate response is to have no reaction at all.

I give up trying to make other people happy.
Everyone is having their own human life experience. I can observe their experience, but I can’t actually change their emotions. I have no control of them. However, I am in control of my own happiness and what I do to pursue it. I have to let go of the need to appease others to simply make them happy. I can only make me happy.

I give up trying to shift people’s perception so that they can see things through my eyes.
Everyone is going to see things how they wish to see them. No amount of expressing my truth will convince them otherwise. They are going to see things from their own lens of reality.

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