Shelly R. Wilson

Being a Friend is Easy

Created by Dajon Smiles 2014Created by DajonSmiles.com

Once again, I am observing  the role individuals play in our life. I have written about this topic several times:
That’s What Friends are For on September 12, 2013; Healing a Heart with a Little Help from my Friends on January 23, 2014; and Evolution of Relationships on April 3, 2014. I recognize the significance of relationships in our lives.

Reading Paul Lipton’s Facebook post on his page, The Ageless Experiment, on July 18, I nodded my head in agreement. Paul wrote: “The comment was made so casually, but was so powerful….it is easy being your friend. Think about it. Make it easy to be a friend. No testing. No demands. Just relaxing into a friendship. You will see that it will make your day easier, too. Is there someone out there that just makes it easy to be around? Be that one. It will make you smile.”

I really like how his words make me feel when I read them. Yes, that is what I desire within my relationships – easy friends, easy friendships. There is no need for “drama” in my opinion. Referencing friends and relationships, my dear friend Jeff remarked to me recently, “Would you rather have 100 pennies or 4 quarters?” This analogy resonated with me completely.

As I have stated before, the people who come into our life are there for a reason. Rather than trying to analyze why they are there, I believe it’s important for each one of us to trust that their presence is necessary for the time. I am thankful for those individuals who are in my life to support me, encourage me and tell me what I need to hear even when it’s hard to process. I am thankful for the friendships that have ended, which allow me to see the blessings and lessons for that experience, and the new friendships that are just beginning as well as those relationships that I am currently and actively experiencing.

As we change and grow, so do our relationships. Many times, there is ebb and flow within these relationships and that’s okay. We have to allow people to leave our life without feeling guilty or feeling like we should have said or done something more. We also have to acknowledge that people may no longer wish for us to be in their life as well. I have had a few of those proverbial “doors slammed in my face,” which leave me questioning what I said or did. Life happenings, family involvement, focus on work, differences in opinion, miscommunication, interests changing and the busy-ness of life itself may contribute to the demise. Ultimately, we are each having our own human life experience.

I see for myself how the relationship evolution occurs. Rather than viewing the evolvement from an earth plane level, I choose to see it from a Higher soul perspective and recognize that people do come into our life for a reason or a season as the saying goes. It’s not “good” or “bad” per se; it just is. We can try to hang on when we feel the disintegration, but many times we only feel hurt or disappointment. It is important to not take “things” personally. Not everyone that I (or you) meet will love me (you), much less like me (you) nor will they want to be my (your) friend.

I do wish to acknowledge how many amazing people I do have in my life (definitely more than “4 quarters”). I find these friendships to be relaxing and refreshing. We don’t need to “test” one another or be demanding. It’s nice to simply enjoy one another for who WE are for we truly are reflections of one another.

Some tips to remember to be an EASY friend:
Tell your friends what they mean to you.
Be the kind of friend you want in your life.
Don’t take things personally.
Recognize that people change and so do relationships.
Be supportive and encouraging.
Reach out rather than waiting on the other person to do so.
Speak your truth and communicate what you are feeling without hesitation.
Listen intently without judgment.
Allow one another room to breathe.
Choose to stay in a space of grace recognizing each person is having their own experience.